...and say thank you to everybody. This whole grief thing is really hard for me...I don't really know how to handle it. Yeah, three out of four grandparents have died in the last ten years, so it's not like this is the first loss I've ever had, but all three grandparents died after a prolonged, painful illness, so it was something I was prepared for ahead of time, and almost a bit of a relief. They had all lived long, full, wonderful lives (well, my maternal grandmother died way too young, imo, but it was a relief for her...the cancer was terrible), and while it was very sad to lose them, it seemed okay, somehow. Ric, on the other hand, is only 37, and still hadn't gotten around to pulling his head out of his arse. There was just so much unfulfilled potential there!! That, and the violent & sudden way he died is sort of hard to process. Anyway, thank you so much, to everyone who has been so kind & thoughtful, and has just been there. I really appreciate it, even if I'm uncomfortable talking about it. That's the one crappy thing about being British...we're soooo stiff-upper-lip in my family, it's unreal. Grief, in my experience, has been an incredibly private process, which is all well & good except for the fact that consequently, I don't really know *how* to grieve. Oy. Suffice to say, it's been a rough week here at Chez Yarn n'Likker, but it is getting a bit more normal. Normal being a matter of opinion, of course.
Also, I'd like to thank my awesome SP...I got a beautiful skein of stretchy cotton sock yarn (like Cascade Fixation, but hand-painted!!) in the mail the other day, plus a great pattern!! Y'all should see the yarn...it's lovely! Gorgeous shades of olives & blues & mustard & plum...very fall colours. Thank you so much, SP...the timing couldn't possibly have been better! I'm looking forward to working with it, too...these will make great summer socks, and for me, me, me!!! (Ahem...'scuse me, I'm just feeling a bit snarky, given that fully half of the socks I've made thus far have been for gifts, and my feets are beginning to complain. It is my long-range goal to have exclusively hand-knit sockies for my little feets, only relying on machine made socks for emergencies. Heh.)
Again, thank you, guys. Your thoughts & words & prayers mean so very, very much to me. It really helps to know y'all are out there when I need you.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Saved by the meme
Heatherly (the Yarn Yenta...what an awesome name!) posted a meme/contest just the other day, and it serves as a convenient space filler to hopefully make y'all forget that I still haven't gotten any new pictures up here in a coon's age. Ahem.
1. Where is your favorite knitting spot?
In the corner of my bedroom, in the special knitting chair that my beloved gave to me last Christmas. It's beautiful, all camel coloured sueded fabric & reddish mahogany stained arms & such. It's very 1930s, and I absolutely adore it. It's also comfy as heck, so that's a big bonus. Anyway, the chair faces my bed, and it has a good view of the tv, and it's right next to the bookcase with a buncha knitting reference books & space for a drink or two. There's a silly little table on the other side of the chair that is invariably covered in books, patterns, and loads of WIPs. I love my little corner.
2. If you suddenly could never knit again (shudder) - what would you do instead?
Good heavens, I might just croak. I'd probably set about to converting as many patterns as I could to crochet, assuming that the reason I can't knit is because of some evil gnome with cruel spells or something, rather than arthritis or something that would affect use of my hands. I'd also finish more cross stitch samplers, without a doubt, I'd probably bake more, and read WAY more than I have been lately. I used to read a ton, but every extra minute has been spent knitting Christmas gifts as of late. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you.
3. If you could travel anywhere in the world - where would you go and why?
The British Isles, no doubt. My family is frightfully British, and I *will* see England before I die. My beloved husband is Irish, and I'd love to see where his family came from as well. Besides, I've had a weird fascination with the UK for as long as I can remember...the history is amazing, and the countryside (from what I've seen in pictures, anyway) is just stunning. Yeah, I'd definitely go to England, with side trips to Ireland, Wales, & anywhere else I can reach.
4. When you were little - What did you want to do "when you grew up?" Are you doing it?
I wanted to be a police officer more than words can say. I still do, really. Pretty much anything in that field thrills the heck outta me. I'm not doing it now, unfortunately, but it's for good reason...I'm a stay at home mom, and these boys are more important than any career in the world. Maybe I'll go back to school after they're grown, but it's hard to say at this point.
5. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?
Ooh, hard one! I currently love Ben & Jerry's Dublin Mudslide, which is an irish cream flavored ice cream with espresso fudge ribbons & chocolate cookie chunks. Fabulous, I tell you. I'm also fond of mint oreo, and a really well-made french vanilla. Yum.
1. Where is your favorite knitting spot?
In the corner of my bedroom, in the special knitting chair that my beloved gave to me last Christmas. It's beautiful, all camel coloured sueded fabric & reddish mahogany stained arms & such. It's very 1930s, and I absolutely adore it. It's also comfy as heck, so that's a big bonus. Anyway, the chair faces my bed, and it has a good view of the tv, and it's right next to the bookcase with a buncha knitting reference books & space for a drink or two. There's a silly little table on the other side of the chair that is invariably covered in books, patterns, and loads of WIPs. I love my little corner.
2. If you suddenly could never knit again (shudder) - what would you do instead?
Good heavens, I might just croak. I'd probably set about to converting as many patterns as I could to crochet, assuming that the reason I can't knit is because of some evil gnome with cruel spells or something, rather than arthritis or something that would affect use of my hands. I'd also finish more cross stitch samplers, without a doubt, I'd probably bake more, and read WAY more than I have been lately. I used to read a ton, but every extra minute has been spent knitting Christmas gifts as of late. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you.
3. If you could travel anywhere in the world - where would you go and why?
The British Isles, no doubt. My family is frightfully British, and I *will* see England before I die. My beloved husband is Irish, and I'd love to see where his family came from as well. Besides, I've had a weird fascination with the UK for as long as I can remember...the history is amazing, and the countryside (from what I've seen in pictures, anyway) is just stunning. Yeah, I'd definitely go to England, with side trips to Ireland, Wales, & anywhere else I can reach.
4. When you were little - What did you want to do "when you grew up?" Are you doing it?
I wanted to be a police officer more than words can say. I still do, really. Pretty much anything in that field thrills the heck outta me. I'm not doing it now, unfortunately, but it's for good reason...I'm a stay at home mom, and these boys are more important than any career in the world. Maybe I'll go back to school after they're grown, but it's hard to say at this point.
5. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?
Ooh, hard one! I currently love Ben & Jerry's Dublin Mudslide, which is an irish cream flavored ice cream with espresso fudge ribbons & chocolate cookie chunks. Fabulous, I tell you. I'm also fond of mint oreo, and a really well-made french vanilla. Yum.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
So damn tired
My apologies for the lack of blogging lately. The camera's batteries are just about shot, so no pictures here until the hubby gets paid & brings me some more batteries. I've been knitting like crazy though...I've currently got six or seven things on the needles, and another five or six that need to be made for Christmas gifts. Fortunately, most of them are relatively small things, so I hope to get them all finished fairly soon (or maybe I'm just a delusional optimist...time will tell). I hope to get pics up in the next week or so, too...the sweater I'm making for my Ma is gorgeous!! The braided cable is turning out really nicely, and the fabric is sooo soft. It's going to be hard to give this one up.
In other, less happy news, my favorite uncle was killed yesterday. Ric was an amazing person...freakishly brilliant, yet consumed by drug & alcohol addictions. I've not seen him in several years, but I loved him deeply. He was on a bit of a pedestal for me...he's ten years older than I, and all throughout my childhood I heard about how brilliant he is, how far he could go, how well he was doing in school. I remember wanting to be just like him, and when my mom declared that we had the exact same weird, dry sense of humor, I was so proud! I just adored this guy. He fell pretty hard off his pedestal a few years ago, when things started getting really bad with the addictions. He did some pretty stupid things, lost his fabulous job, and went downhill quickly. I still loved him, though, and still had hope that sooner or later he'd pull his head out of his arse & get back on track again. Sunday night, I had a lovely dream, involving him & several other uncles of mine. He was whole & happy & free of the pain that he's been in for so long, and we had such a good time! My grandfather had grilled some amazing steaks, and we just hung out & ate & goofed off...it was wonderful. Then I woke up, and Mom called to tell me that he'd been in a car accident, and his pupils were fixed & dilated, and he may never wake up. I knew he was dead...he'd come to say goodbye already. It turns out that he was a pedestrian, crossing a street, and got hit by a car. Brain death was immediate, and for that I am grateful. He's suffered enough in his life, he didn't need to suffer any more. My dad & his sister authorized a DNR order by early afternoon, they harvested organs to donate, and pulled the plug sometime yesterday evening. He'll be cremated & brought home to Indiana, but I've no idea when the memorial service will be...our family can be sort of slow in that respect. (We sort of figure he's not going anywhere by that point, and then everyone waits until the *whole* family can make it all at one time...it took two whole years to finally get my great-grandfather buried.) I do rather hope it will be sooner than later. I'm just so incredibly sad about it all...I'd kind of like to get the closure & just move past it. I adored him so much. I'd still hoped he could turn his life around, but now that will never happen. It's just such a waste, and it breaks my heart.
I slept like a brick last night, and dreamed only of my husband (it was a *good* dream, too! heehee), but I'm still just so damn tired. My head has ached almost non-stop since Sunday night (freaky little irony there, huh?), and I'm just worn out. Thanks for reading, if you've gotten this far, and I promise there will be more knitting content in the near future.
In other, less happy news, my favorite uncle was killed yesterday. Ric was an amazing person...freakishly brilliant, yet consumed by drug & alcohol addictions. I've not seen him in several years, but I loved him deeply. He was on a bit of a pedestal for me...he's ten years older than I, and all throughout my childhood I heard about how brilliant he is, how far he could go, how well he was doing in school. I remember wanting to be just like him, and when my mom declared that we had the exact same weird, dry sense of humor, I was so proud! I just adored this guy. He fell pretty hard off his pedestal a few years ago, when things started getting really bad with the addictions. He did some pretty stupid things, lost his fabulous job, and went downhill quickly. I still loved him, though, and still had hope that sooner or later he'd pull his head out of his arse & get back on track again. Sunday night, I had a lovely dream, involving him & several other uncles of mine. He was whole & happy & free of the pain that he's been in for so long, and we had such a good time! My grandfather had grilled some amazing steaks, and we just hung out & ate & goofed off...it was wonderful. Then I woke up, and Mom called to tell me that he'd been in a car accident, and his pupils were fixed & dilated, and he may never wake up. I knew he was dead...he'd come to say goodbye already. It turns out that he was a pedestrian, crossing a street, and got hit by a car. Brain death was immediate, and for that I am grateful. He's suffered enough in his life, he didn't need to suffer any more. My dad & his sister authorized a DNR order by early afternoon, they harvested organs to donate, and pulled the plug sometime yesterday evening. He'll be cremated & brought home to Indiana, but I've no idea when the memorial service will be...our family can be sort of slow in that respect. (We sort of figure he's not going anywhere by that point, and then everyone waits until the *whole* family can make it all at one time...it took two whole years to finally get my great-grandfather buried.) I do rather hope it will be sooner than later. I'm just so incredibly sad about it all...I'd kind of like to get the closure & just move past it. I adored him so much. I'd still hoped he could turn his life around, but now that will never happen. It's just such a waste, and it breaks my heart.
I slept like a brick last night, and dreamed only of my husband (it was a *good* dream, too! heehee), but I'm still just so damn tired. My head has ached almost non-stop since Sunday night (freaky little irony there, huh?), and I'm just worn out. Thanks for reading, if you've gotten this far, and I promise there will be more knitting content in the near future.
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